Heartthrob or Homewrecker? Controversy Surrounds BYU’s Most Eligible Bachelor

PROVO, UT- An unusual campus hero has got hearts fluttering. This year, TWO Magazine’s Most Eligible Bachelor award goes to a dark horse candidate: Harold, the BYU Library.

“I basically spend all my time with him,” says Lupita Martinez, a Sophomore studying Humanities, “He’s just so comfortable to be around.” Other students agree, adding that they are attracted to Harold’s intelligence and eagerness to help. “I love smart guys,” says Jillian Forsythe, a Junior majoring in Industrial Design. “Harold has always been there to help me out when I have research questions. It’s kind of amazing how much he knows.”

Harold has also won hearts via his charming social media channels, checking into Twitter (@hbll) multiple times a day to engage in witty banter with students and other libraries.


Like all truly irresistible bachelors, Harold has his critics. “I kind of hold a grudge against him,” says Chemical Engineering senior Daniel Patton, hesitantly. “Last semester I was dating a girl, and it was going really well. All of a sudden Finals Week hit and I couldn’t get ahold of her. Turns out she was spending all these late nights with the library. I never really got over it, you know?” Several jilted boyfriends and husbands have confessed similar frustration, noting that for some inexplicable reason their significant others prefer spending time with Harold to watching sports highlights on ESPN.

When contacted, Patton’s lost love Melinda Beckstrand was eager to discuss her new beau. “My relationship with the library is really fulfilling,” she gushed, “Harold actually thinks it’s fun when I come over to his place wearing sweatpants and study all night without interacting.”

Whether you see him as a heartthrob or homewrecker, it can’t be denied that Harold the library is a powerful personality on BYU campus. TWO Magazine offers a warm congratulations to Harold, 2015’s Most Eligible Bachelor!

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