There are many parts to planning a proposal, from choosing the right time and place to knowing what words to say. However, one of the most important elements of an engagement is the ring. While some know exactly what their significant other is looking for in a ring, including color, setting and band size, for others it is a little more complicated. If unsure how to proceed, here are some options for finding her ring size and getting the ring of her dreams.

First, ask directly. It’s likely that if a couple is close to getting engaged, they’ve talked about marriage previously and a proposal won’t come as a huge shock. Ask directly what size ring she is, or go to a jewelry store together for her to be sized if she doesn’t know; the actual ring, the timing of the proposal and the way the proposal happens can still be a surprise.

“Rings aren’t cheap, so we decided we might as well get it right the first time,” said Tyler Byron, from Bremerton, Washington. “We went in together for her to choose the ring and get sized, she just didn’t know when I would actually buy the ring or officially propose.”

However, if it is essential to keep the proposal under wraps, here are some stealthy ways to find out her ring size.

Try enlisting the help of her friends or family. Chances are, they’ve probably talked about proposals, engagement rings and ring sizes at some point, or she might have tried on one of their rings. They might already know what she’ll need, and if not, they can ask for her ring size in a casual and non-suspicious manner. They can go try rings on “for fun,” or say something along the lines of “we both know that at some point (significant other’s name here) is going to propose, and he’ll need to know your ring size. Let’s figure it out in case he comes to me needing to know.” This method doesn’t give her any clear hints about the timing of the proposal, but will likely result in a reliable ring size. Asking a future mother-in-law is likely to win some extra brownie points as well.

Another method is to borrow a ring she wears regularly, making sure to note which finger she wears it on. Although most girls don’t wear a ring on the ring finger of their left hand, if she has a ring she wears on the same finger of the right hand, most jewelers can make a rough estimate of the ring size needed. However, fingers on the dominant hand are slightly larger, so keep this in mind when talking to the jeweler.
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        —Shaye Mullen

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