One minute the relationship is going well, looking as though it could lead to something more, and the next thing you know they aren’t replying to Snapchats, text messages or even that funny Instagram video you tagged them in. You’ve been ghosted.
The term “ghosting” describes the phenomenon that occurs when one half of a relationship decides to end the relationship, but doesn’t want to actually talk and explain themselves. They simply disappear into the void, hoping that the other person gets the hint. This can be done in a slow fade, also called bread-crumbing, where the frequency of communication gradually diminishes until it disappears completely, or by cutting conversation off completely.
Whatever the method used, ghosting can leave the partner at the receiving end confused and without closure, wondering where they went wrong.
Here are some tips to avoid coming across as crazy when you get ghosted.
1. Recognize the symptoms
It’s important to notice the signs of ghosting early. Don’t attempt to justify the behavior of your partner with excuses about how they’re really busy with school or work, or that they’ve got a big assignment coming up. If someone wants to be in your life, they’ll find the time. Even if they really are busy, it only takes a few seconds to send a text message or a Snapchat.
2. Send out one last message to scan for signs of life
If unsure whether a ghosting is in progress, send a single message and patiently wait to see what kind of reply you get. Send something simple, such as asking how an assignment is coming along, or how their week is going. Don’t accuse them of anything or try to make them feel guilty for not being available.
3. Accept it calmly and rationally, and move on
Unfortunately, there’s not much to be done after you’ve been ghosted except to accept it. Don’t freak out or leave them long voicemails asking them how they could do this to you, because behavior like that come back to haunt you. If they don’t have the emotional maturity to deal with a break up like an adult, then they’re not worth your time anyways. Don’t allow someone else’s bad behavior to keep you from finding and engaging in meaningful relationships and moving forward with your life.
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