It’s terrible when the person you like likes someone else, especially if that someone else is a friend. This can put a strain on your friendship and on you personally, as you work to accept it. Allow yourself room to process your feelings so you can be happy for the couple instead of faking it.
This will take time and space. Forcing yourself to be around someone when it’s too painful makes you and them uncomfortable. You don’t have to cut off the friendship entirely or at all — simply take time for yourself to process your feelings.
Though you care about them, maintain some level of distance or risk becoming their confidant. You don’t want to become the person they share every detail about their new relationship with. Listening to things that could hurt you is not a requirement for being a good friend. You should not feel obligated to put yourself through that.
Stepping back doesn’t mean you have to be alone. Reach out to other friends and rely on them for support. Spending time with other friends and having fun will help you avoid wallowing in self-pity.
Recognize the feelings you have. You can be upset and feel pain without letting those feelings run your life. Find supportive friends you can talk through your feelings with.
Finally, the best thing you can do is to move on. Go out, go on dates and be open to meeting somebody new. Right now this person might seem like “the one,” but that doesn’t mean they are. By allowing yourself to move on, you also open up the possibility for a more genuine and honest friendship with all parties. Hanging around waiting for the day they choose you is a waste of your time. You deserve better than being someone’s second choice.
-Hannah Lafond
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