Climbing Your Way Out of a Post-breakup Rut

Let’s be real: breakups hurt. It doesn’t matter how the relationship ended; at the end of the day, someone who meant everything is suddenly gone.

When heartbreak inevitably happens, there’s no set time to heal. It’s OK to feel passionately about the loss: cry, yell, get angry, rant, listen to mopey music and cry some more.

Time is the best way to heal. But here are a few tips to help with the healing process:

Cry it out

One of the unhealthiest things a person can do after a breakup is to suppress all their emotions. It’s natural to want to appear OK, but bottling things up will only lead to a break down later on. The sooner the breakup is acknowledged the better. There is no shame in being sad. It just indicates that the person was brave enough to be vulnerable with someone. Caring is strength.

Isolation is a silent killer

After a breakup it can be tempting to cut people out. Curling up in a bed surrounded by a mass of crusty dishes and crumpled tissues is not going to make things better. Friends, family and anyone important to the wounded are going to want to help. Let them. Focusing on others can help break the cycle of overthinking and obsessing about what might have been.

Don’t be Bitter, Get Better

Focusing on something positive is the number one way to get out of a post-breakup spiral. Make a plan, set goals, get moving, serve, dance around if necessary, watch funny cat videos on YouTube, be a little extra and listen to sad music and stare at the wall for an hour or so, make a delicious quesadilla with extra cheese, whatever works. Remember healing from a breakup is a process. There might be three terrible days and then one good. It’s OK. Just try to love yourself.

   –Sabalie Donaldson

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