There’s a fine line between cute and creepy when it comes to flirting. It can be obvious in some cases, but there are plenty of times where what one person thought was “super cute” comes off to their crush as “totally creepy.” For anyone who finds themselves repeatedly being ghosted by love interests, or who just wants to better their chances in the dating game, here are a few guidelines to help figure out what will make your crush swoon — and what will send them running for the hills.
You see a cute guy or girl across the room at a game night and want to put yourself on their radar.
Totally Creepy
Compliments that delve into details. If you’ve never talked to this person, you don’t know them enough to be commenting on their personality or their character. It comes off like you’ve been watching them without saying anything: a total stalker move.
Super Cute
A simple compliment! Say you like their shoes, their shirt or their smile. Something simple, sweet and fairly surface-level is your best bet since you don’t know each other yet.
There’s a guy or girl in your ward you’ve talked to once or twice, but you don’t have their number and want to ask them out.
Totally Creepy
A text that goes something like, “Hi, this is (name) from the ward! I got your number off of LDS Tools and wanted to know if you’d like to go out sometime!” LDS Tools is meant to help you contact the executive secretary for an appointment with the bishop, not score you dates with the wardies.
Super Cute
After you’ve chatted a few times, mention an activity you’ve “wanted to do for a while” and ask if they’d like to join you. Get their number after you ask so you can call them with further details.
You’ve hung out a few times and maybe even consider yourselves friends, but are looking to take things to the next level.
Totally Creepy
Sporadically inviting them to “hang out” on weekends but then going AWOL during the week. Getting out of the apartment and going on dates is important. So is time spent on actual dates that don’t involve Netflix and chill.
Super Cute
Include them in your day-to-day activities. Invite them to the gym for leg day or the library to study—if they’re interested, they’ll think it’s super sweet that you make an effort to prioritize and spend time with them, even with your busy schedule.
You’re on a date and want to impress your crush through conversation.
Totally Creepy
Talking only about yourself— bragging about your salary, your physique, your intelligence or anything else. It makes your date wonder if you actually care that they are with you, or if you’d rather be staring at yourself in a mirror.
Super Cute
Ask genuine questions and listen to their answers. Bonus points if you remember things they tell you and can bring them up in later conversations. It’s always sweet to know your crush listens to and cares about your interests (see ‘Quality VASA Time on page 20 for more ideas).
-Haley Mosher
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