Framing the Conversation

“So what’s your major?” they ask. You stop in your tracks . You rack your brain for the right answer, knowing this isn’t that hard of a question but unable to form a reply.
“Spaghetti.” you reply. They stare at you confused, and the pit in your stomach grows until it swallows you whole. That wasn’t the right answer.
If this situation sounds familiar, try these tips to improve your conversational style and win points with your date.

Good conversation requires good listening. As public health major Evan Hawes said, “if you feel like the other person isn’t listening, you don’t want to keep talking.” After attentively listening to your date, sum up what was said and ask an informed question. More often than not, an informed question begins with a “why.” Why did you decide to switch apartments? Why do you think that your professor secretly has a street racing side hustle?

“Just be yourself,” advises statistics major Nathan Jones. “If you fake something, you’ll have to fake it your whole relationship. If they don’t like you, then just don’t waste any more time.” Conversation is easiest when taking about your real passions and interests. If a partner is not interested in what his or her date has to say, talking will not be easy.

Giving your date conversational ammo can help conversation flow more easily. Good dates are dialogues rather than monologues, and even the best question askers must answer something occasionally. Exercise science major Abbie Banton recommends “bringing up something that’s interesting about yourself, but not fully explaining it.” If the date properly receives the conversational ammo, this allows for whole new avenue of conversation to open up.

Choosing an interesting activity to do gives you at least one interesting topic to talk about, even if your date is the most boring person you’ve ever met. Engaging activities also allow you to learn more about the person you’re with, such as how they feel about certain situations or activities. Asking follow-up questions to these feelings will fuel conversation.

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