That’s it; you can’t take it anymore. It’s undeniable: your roommate is dating a crazy person.
Some of you have been here before. You may have heard the significant other say something demeaning or cruel and see it as a sign of terrible things to come. You may simply just get the “heebie jeebies” or other creepy feelings when you are around them.
Either way, from what you’ve observed, you think your friend is going out with Mr. Hyde. Naturally, you want to do something about it.
So how do you approach the situation? You can’t just come right out and tell your roommate you think they’re dating someone from the asylum. That would just cause drama.
The first step is to let your roommate know you are merely sharing observations because you care about them. Tell them you honestly want to avoid any drama and emphasize that you are only trying to help. Share your observations only as observations – avoid giving too much of your opinion because it isn’t your relationship. Finish by telling them you’re worried about them and this relationship, but you respect their opinion and decision.
Before you go that far, you may want to look for more concrete evidence that your roommate’s significant other isn’t a good fit. Make absolutely sure your roommate’s significant other is as bad as you think he or she is and try to see their relationship from another perspective. Try to remove as much bias from the situation as possible.
If that doesn’t work, the list to the left has some pretty straightforward signs that your concern is warranted.
However, this is an inconclusive list and there are other signs that something could be fundamentally wrong with the relationship – consult with a trusted friend, relative or counselor for further help.
On the other hand, if there aren’t any clear signs like these, you might not want to get involved. It might be difficult, but perhaps the best thing you can do is stay out of it and let things take their natural course. If your roommate and their significant other truly aren’t a good fit, then the natural forces of relationships and catalyst events in their lives will help them realize it eventually.
The reality is you don’t know the whole situation. If your roommate asks you to remove yourself from the situation, respect their decision and move on.
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